Social media has made us more aware of mental health, but it has also made many people quickly label themselves with different feelings or traits, like calling themselves “empaths.” However, often people focus more on showing off kindness online rather than being truly kind.
What Is True Empathy?
Mariyam Sultana, a psychological counsellor, explains that real empathy means genuinely understanding how someone else feels. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes with care and kindness. This is different from sympathy, which is just feeling sorry for someone without really connecting to their feelings.
Why Do We Pretend to Be Nice?
Many of us learned to be “nice” because we were told to be that way as kids. But this often leads to “people-pleasing,” where we try too hard to make others happy and lose touch with our true feelings. This can make it hard to form real connections.
Mariyam also points out that where we come from and our social class affect how we feel and express empathy. For example, people in villages might feel closer to their communities, while city life can make us more isolated.
The Problem with Social Media “Kindness”
Today, many people want to look good online. For example, someone might post about helping a hurt animal not to help it really, but to get attention or likes. This kind of “performative kindness” is more about image than real care.
How to Know If You’re Truly Empathetic
Mariyam advises us to reflect on our feelings. If someone else’s problem affects you deeply, ask yourself why. Is it because it reminds you of something in your own life? Writing down your thoughts can help understand this better.
How to Be Truly Kind
If you want to help others, create a safe space where they can talk honestly. If they need more support, help connect them to professionals. At home, encourage open conversations and respect each other’s feelings, even if you don’t always agree.
Finally, Mariyam reminds us that being kind is not about online popularity or trends. Everyone has both light and dark sides inside, like jealousy, and understanding ourselves fully is the key to being truly kind and authentic.